IllLogic: 5 used games you can get from GameStop's secret menu
Illogic is a video game parody series written by our very own Mike Mordenga, the host of FilmLogic. Any resemblance to actual events, locales persons, living or dead, real or fictional, retro or modern, is entirely coincidental.
Many gamers are not aware that GameStop has a secret menu waiting for the most loyal customers in-the-know. Every GameStop employee has been trained to offer these games as long as guests know the right words and actions to say.
This is a guide on how to unlock the secret GameStop menu.
1. Mario Cricket Boarder (N64)
If you ask for Mario Cricket Boarder and wink at the GameStop employee they will excuse themselves and go to the back. They will come back with a dusty box (the employee might be covered in soot). Enjoy this N64 classic
2. Assassin’s Creed 1970s (PS3)
Walk up to your local GameStop employee and say the following, "I sure hope this store isn't bought out by Babbages." The employee will go to the back. Most likely they will bring back two halves of a PS3 game. Glue them together for best results.
3. Half-Life Babies (Steam)
This one is a bit tricky. You need to give the GameStop employee a five dollar bill with a picture of Dr. Robotnik on it instead of Lincoln. Then blink twice and point at a 45 degree angle. The employee will excuse themselves and come back with a game redemption code. Redeem the code on Switch to receive the real Steam code.
4. Capcom Vs. Cheers (Wii)
In order to unlock this game to be purchased you need to move your hips in the following order in front of the GameStop employee. Up, up, down, down, half circle left, half circle right, and stick out your tongue. The employee will excuse themselves. After an hour they will come back covered in chocolate pudding. The game will be in their left pocket.
5. Crash Bandicoot Campaign Manager 2016 (2DS)
The only way to unlock this game from the shelves of GameStop is to beat the employee boss on Hard difficulty. Make sure to stock up on Surge for health power ups. The employee is weak against under priced Funko Pops. Once you whittle down the employee to 10% health they will turn into their second form. Keep avoiding their used prices and hitting them back with Pro Member moves. Once they are defeated you will see a small cut scene between a rabbit and a goat. DO NOT SKIP It. After the cut scene you will receive the game.
